Every dumpee has different lackings, interests, and things to get busy with, but some things most dumpees could benefit from are: engaging in the pursuit of old and new hobbies. The reason he broke up was because he in the future wants to move to another country and was unsure about the future. let your ex continue as she is, and be open to her communication if and when she offers it. Why would she say she's so proud of me when I haven't done anything significant? It seems very complicated to me. Or they may return, because in the meantime and while they were away from you, nothing 'better; came along. Yangki, Im just curious as to what your alternative to no contact is. I went straight into NC, and last week he commented on my instagram and then in my DM asking me how Im doing I waited a few hours before I replied Im doing good. Frankly, this is the sign I've experienced myself. I feel those emotions but I feel the ones of wanting to get back together a bit stronger now that she has contacted me. Buried and you probably dont want to dig it back up. I wished her a happy new year and continued walking. I can already hear angry growls. Can Breaking Up Strengthen A Relationship? It has been three months since my ex (she broke up with me) and I have had contact and five days ago she texted me telling me she had heard I accepted a new full time job and said congrats. You need to complete a No Contact again where you read and prepare to implement the being there method. Women are not like pets. She even txt me 2 days ago but I think I messed up when I told her I was thinking about her when she txt me. Should I text her 6 months after No Contact? I dont think they will ever contact you again. It seems very complicated to me. For more tech tips, news, and updates visit - CraigPeterson.com . But 2 months ago she left again! What works better is just trying to cultivate an environment where you can have a friendly organic conversation with your ex. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. So, from now, when I talk about responding to your ex, its under the assumption that you have already successfully completed the no contact rule. Stage 4: Fear of Loss. So you have the option of reaching out to your ex without it causing damage. I see no reason to not be friends with her. You are thinking all kinds of thoughts and imagining all kinds of scenarios, including the possibility that your ex is dead, and thats why they havent responded. So after 5 months of no contact my ex who im deeply inlove with contacts me My ex-GF texted me after 7 months of no contact? Is It Okay For The Dumpee To Text The Dumper After 2-3 Months Of No Contact Why it MAY be a good idea to text your ex on Valentines day? major and doing research on resilience, disengagement strategies and post-breakup emotional adjustment. Seems like you're rocking the accounting/finance world as usual. I broke the No contact RULE after 8 days and he repliedwhat now?? He messaged me the same night and everyday for three days. I worry now by breaking no contact he did this to gauge my anger and for his own validation and ego that I dont hate him. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, I assume you're referring to how long it takes for a. There is only one way to find out contact her, If you are ever going to get back together someone has to contact the other, and since shes not contacting you, Your email address will not be published. Anyways, I soon after got over the breakup because sending him an apology lifted a weight off my shoulders. Straight up ask her how she's feeling about everything, how she's doing, I think all we really want, ultimately is the truth or we may be afraid to ask for it straight out because nobody wants to get hurt or feel like an **** if they think the other person is not into them/ doesn't love them anymore. Earlier this month she emailed me thanking me for my time in the relationship and telling me that she knew that I did love her. We had a talk and he broke up with me, and I actually handled it very well. Hey there AD, we have a lot of people who have a long distance relationship and still get success. In a previous breakup where i was dumped, my ex made fishing expeditions at 3, 6, and 8 months. Any advice I say goodnight hope we can chat soon and fix things but never no reply ? And when he has answered you you drop out. You have to stay away from all kinds of communications, including text messages, calls, in-person meetings, stalking. It all depends on what is going on in their lives. I have been doing No Contact for a week and she just text me she wants her stuff back. But the key word in your question is "EX". But I've had exes return, after two days, six weeks, two months, two years and even ten years. I dont see the difference between 1 to 4 months and 6 to 10 months. Another possible reason might be that your ex-boyfriend is recently single again and he is looking to reconnect with you. A. GoRla89. text? After years of not speaking. Hey LJE so your ex reaching out to you is a positive thing, what you need to do is read some articles about the subjects you need to be doing in your texts. What shall i do now?! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It shows that your weak and not exactly over her. 3 months late My ex broke contact. That we should be on this together and figure things out together. Think of a simple message that says, Hey.. Why would she do that? I am not sure what her intentions are but I have an idea. Well, the content of the message they reach out to you with should help figure that out. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Emotional Momentum How to Get And Keep Your Exs Attention. Now hes trying to do the same. Your current partner might be aware of what went down between you and your ex. Hi everyone! Nah, they met someone else and are ignoring you. I didnt cry, yell, beg or anything like that. my ex contacted me after 14 month. After over 30 years as the GASGAS UK importer we are now an authorised GASGAS Dealer which allows us to sell bikes direct to the public. I have had this discussion with a few of my female friends and they have agreed on one thing: From their perspective, once a man has crossed the "line" there is no going back, ie. I stil love him and im trying to stop. You want them to work for you. If she's been hurt by you, if she she hits u up even though you hurt her, because she more than likely still carries and has feelings that won't go away, in turn she'll then question whether or not its the right and best decision to see you again, if she text you after 2 months following what was most likely a heartache of a breakup for you both, she's thinking about you .I would say depends on how long you were together before this,how old y'all are because after 2 months of trying to heal-she's texting you now. Simply put: What do you want out of this? Will it still work? In fact, your ex would probably be annoyed and even angry at you. Itll make him feel like his interests are valid to you and that he is actually teaching you something. Day 3 of No Contact.. What Ive noticed is that most people go through a pendulum of emotions where they either feel super excited and happy without their ex on one extreme, or theyre super sad and depressed. All this time they have been playing you. 5. I feel like he didnt really want to initiate a conversation, yet he felt a need to reach out. If you dont finish the no-contact rule correctly, then it wont have the right effect you need, so do not respond to your ex in the middle of the no contact period. But in my experience, the ones who returned almost immediatley, were the ones looking to reconcile..the ones who left it a while, were communicating to catch up. Until you are really able to honestly look inside andadmit to the truth of what is happening, others words or actions will always send you in a panic, cause you to think the worst, to over analyze your exs every word or action, to worry unnecessarily, to live in denial or delusion, to see whats not there and hear what you want to hear. An ex may come back even when they are not sure of your relationship status. I think it could have to do with a lot of things--starting with the reason(s) for the split, and then down to their personal feelings, and also their concern for your feelings. We recommend that you brainstorm some things during the no contact period that your ex is super interested in, and youre not really knowledgeable about so you can have engaging conversations later. One more day and you are really worried. Just curious. That one way is No Contact Rule. Ice queen ?help, Ex Girlfriend Contacts me After 3 weeks of Break Up And No contact. Hear her out fella! Remember you both were crazy about each other once! She said that she didnt think I wanted to talk to her but that I was a big part of her life at one point and that she didnt want to lose that. He also said that he wants me to move on (which I did already I guess he doesnt know) and find someone better than him. ATTRACT BACK A FEARFUL AVOIDANT, ANXIOUS, DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT EX. What I dont like is that she had so many guy friends calling and texting her. So, if the longest you've gone in a year, curiosity is likely to get the better of him by, for example,rel 18 months. Seems like you both had a lot going on before---you were too needy at one point for her attention and she has 2 kids and 2 jobs. If thats the kind of message your ex is sending, we do not recommend responding to him at all. If you do occasional little chats like above, it will spark her inner fire if it's still there and eventually, she will suggest getting together. no reconciliation, never, ever, no matter how much he changes his ways. 2 months no contact, was getting better, why am I falling back now? The end game here is them getting closure by bringing up highly emotional topics. Why would Dumper contact me by text again? Which makes me think, that if they return 2 to 3 months after the initial split, the chances are, they are not looking to reconcile. Make a daily plan to keep busy 2. He didnt contact me at ALL until yesterday. Which I think reinforces my view that men and women leave relationships for different reasons and that it is more likely that a man will reconcile with a woman than vice versa. Talking to them will only give them hope and they won't give up. It was shocking to hear that he was still married to the woman who has my name. I noticed just this past week that he has blocked me on WhatsApp. TEXT/WHATSAPP+1416 606 6989, ATTRACT BACK A FEARFUL AVOIDANT, ANXIOUS, DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT EX. If you ask me, 90.7% is pretty good! My ex left me a little over two months ago. Im in NC and its just day 4 and im planning to follow it to the end. No contact after 7 days - she contacts me. If it is not the case, below are reasons why she is contacting you several weeks or months after the two of you broke up. For more information, please see our I have had two who never came back and who I did not go back to (one dumped me, the other I dumped). Izzy1234 But I don't think there's just one reason why guys would typically take this long to begin communicating again. Now watch her continue to contact. Ill have been in NC for 30 days by the end of this week. It has taken some guys years to come back. Required fields are marked *. How often does your affair partner contact you? I don't know where to start, my ex threw me out 2 months ago after his ex contacted him again after she ghosted him. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Question: I have two questions. I: Still breathing, so I'm good. By going no contact, you can protect your value as a person and let your ex continue to self-prioritize. "Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Your ex is not the one making you panic, worry and overthink. Manage Settings 4 years ago. Kelsey L.O. What were looking for is the second kind of message. Im so afraid to go back to him, but I do love him. If she asked why you ignored her tell her you needed to get your head right and you've been very busy. It is not unusual for a guy from 3 years ago, to come knocking at your door, reminiscing about old times. You loved this girl once or still do.. Why? I try to be distant but Im not sure whether I can get him back by doing that. We ended things with him telling me that it is not easy for him and that he loves me so much but he cannot give me the future that I deserve. I thought we were done, Idk why he would contact me again after all the hurting he caused me, Ive been trying to move on Im still hurt till this day but I know hes not good for me. Is 6 months too long to wait to make it official? A day goes by and your ex hasnt contacted you, you begin to wonder what is happening. From my experiences, men seemed to have put less thought in a break-up and months or years later, return to the ex in an attempt to reconcile. They need to take time to reflect and heal. I know he is when it comes to dealing with emotions. Twice I did the dumping and once I was dumped. Hi! He reached out within the 30 day time frame I had but I didnt respond not until I completed the no contact rule. if you cannot deal with it and cut her some slack you will end up broken up again. Also, I'll be hunting near her school this week & partying there for halloween, so should I mention that to her, mention & tell her to inform me if she wants to hangout, or just NC? On some level, he has an idea of when he thinks he can reach out. We ended things pretty good without fighting and later the same day he told me he was upset, depressed and cried alot but that the breakup was still right. By Girls love attention, it is what they really want. You are busy getting on with your life. Im in NC and its just day one. "Does your wife know that you're talking to . When he left we spoke a little and i started the no contact rule again. Learn how your comment data is processed. And then ego will get the better of him. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. Blocked my ex's number, and told him not to contact me, ever. Hi E yes you should be reaching out with a text that Chris suggests at the end of your NC. There are many reasons why they did but ultimately it came down to her not letting herself be happy with me. I: What's up? My ex unfollowed me after 2 months of no contact. If you continue to maintain no contact, you will begin to feel less powerless, less invisible, and safer to feel (all) of your feelings and to be authentically yourself. There have been less data about women returning to a relationship. I regret accepting the friendship but I just didn't want to be overly dramatic about the entire thing. Notice: she still has me on her Snapchat tho and yesterday she posted a story which I didnt enter (even tho i think that she hid me from her stories right after the breakup as well), Keep in mind that, i kinda sensed that she was trying to get my attention before the unfollowed So can u guys give me suggestions on what to do and why would she do that She was the dumper btw and i still love her but yh its been 75 days and i sometimes get very depressed So whats going on here? Day three, your ex still hasnt contacted you, now you are in panic mode. I ignored him for a few weeks, and I finally told him to stop contacting me. I know it sounds cruel, but now you know that if you ever have your ex constantly reach out to you and brag about their life, especially their sexual/romantic conquests, theyre just trying to be petty and win the breakup. Then you get a text or a call back, and O.M.G! Responding to your ex is wholly dependent on the no contact rule. 1) If you don't want to get back together with this girl simply ignore her texts. Actually were not really bf/gf, were exclusively dating back then. For the sake of future correctness here's what should happen. Welcome! Should I reach out to him? WRONG! Find me on instagram: @kelseylo_writing. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. It means that your ex still does have feelings for you, and she wants to know how you are doing. It will escalate to the point of anger then some imaginary crisis (not all create crisis). I also discovered that I am a very mean person and maybe a bit selfish. Is It No Contact If My Ex Asked Me Not To Contact Them? They want you back. Then said "Good. And if youre more of a visual learner heres a video. I think it is good that she is trying to let her life be less controlled by circumstances/work and more by what she needs for well being. In all honesty here, Regardless of who dumped who, unless something has changed in either or both of you that caused the dump, it's going to happen again and again and again. It doesnt seem she wants a relationship,she proably wants you to chase her again like you use to when you were in a realtionship. Therefore it is your ex who needs to move toward you since they were the one who pulled away. I'd like to talk Xx. I do understand her kids come first and I was always telling her to quit that 2nd job so she would have more time. Now he slides me DMs and calls me cute names, likes my posts even if it was 2 years old. What if he never communicates in a positive way? But she also said if I fully commit myself to her she would bring me around him. 3. Well, you want to start an organic conversation and mirror his response or add value to the conversation to keep it going. Me and my ex broke up in January, we were in a very happy relationship and were planning to move together. She then decided to stop answering my messages out of the blue. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. if nothing else, (as you have said), she was a good person and you would hate to lose her from your life, and she vice versa. Hey yall, I hope you're doing well My ex unfollowed me on ig after no contact I have not contacted her since the breakup. Shortly after, they were gone again.. People react differently to time. He told me it was the biggest regret of his life and he loved me still but couldnt be in a relationship. My idea of responding to your ex has been refined over the years as Ive seen several real-life people successfully respond to their ex over text. The best advice i can give you is to not ask to meet up with her. Take time to calm yourself down: Go for a walk or do some exercise. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. Cookie Notice My ex emailed me after 6 months no contact but 1 year not together. Try relaxing music. Whatever the reason may be for your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, the important . We broke apart because I had found out he was living with another woman 3 years after knowing each other. I think that made me push her away a little bit and as a result she pushed back. There are two key things to keep in mind when responding to your ex: Key #1: The overall goal is always to start an organic conversation. The fact that your ex "Likes" w. You guys are all full of **** and obviously have no clue as to what you're talking about. My male friends however, does not yield such a huge rate of return. No matter how hard we try to script conversations for our clients, it almost always fails. He wanted to get married, have children. Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By Don't under any circumstances, suggest getting back together. I let her go out with her friends most of the time when she wanted. thanks in advance! If she has started texting you it means two things. I'd go for it!! It is possible to get back with an ex and have it work, but the odds are against it. 2 months no contact, was getting better, why am I falling back now? After three days with him messaging me i told him nicely that i would appreciate it if he stoped contacting me and he respected that. 3 years and split up 2 weeks ago cause she told me to F off and I said your a lier and a cheat. I dont see it as an attack on me. But she also mentioned int the email that she didn't want to get together but she'd like to thank me for my time. None over the 2 month mark, were looking to reconcile. My boyfriend and i dated for 2 years. The first thing to do in situations like these is to determine exactly what you want. self-reflection and self-improvement. The reason he broke up was because he in the future wants to move to another country and was unsure about the future. I still do love her and just want the best for her. My ex finally contacted me after 3 months of NCwhat do I do now? Her response was "I would like that". Is it possible to get her ex back? Hey there Nirm, yes this can still work but you must be patient and understand that you are going to have to be mindful not to get over emotional when you reach the texting phase and understand at times he is going to need space to deal with his own mental health, Hi there, I think I successfully applied the no contact rule. He messaged me the same night and everyday for three days. We didnt get too personal it was more of like a friend thing or feeling each other out. Everything you wanted to say, or have found new about yourself whilst without her weigh them up! Look before you leap. I need some serious support! We started texting back and forth. jessb86a I ignored the . Does this mean we have no chance of working things out? The amount of time taken between coming back, has differed among my exes too. Anyone have any insight of what I should expect or what she is trying to do? Nothing changed, so I let her go. It even helps create the age-old damsel in distress situation, making him feel powerful and desired. It was shocking to hear that he'd had a daughter. Yes she most likely does think about you from time to time, but that does not mean she still has feelings for you. They did the leaving. Individuals with anxious attachment have a strong need for contact and closeness and high sensitivity to rejection; and theres nothing wrong with needing contact and closeness. After months of radio silence, my ex began liking my Instagram posts again. This means its over for good. Should this be cause for concern in my relationship? Yangki, I understand that by contacting it will triggers various bad feeling like you mentioned above. After all, they broke up with you. They usually come back around the 2-3 month mark, which is how long it takes for them to realize that you are not coming back. Now, you know WHY your ex reaches out and WHEN you should respond, but what about HOW you should respond? Bumped into my ex for the first time in over 4 months! Many people have a tendency to isolate themselves when they are not feeling good, and they will push the people closest to them away. The first step to stopping yourself from acting on overwhelming emotions. I am not longer emotional attached to things she canned me and wanted nothing to do with me 3 months ago. Leave it at that. Never reached out again afterwards. If it does, thats because this is how attachment anxiety and out of control emotions look like. Done it myself, in that I've broken up with someone and awaitied them coming back and when they don't, PANIC! i want her back, and i initiated contact after 8 days! The sky is falling. How could you have been such a fool? Ive also seen people fail to get their ex back not because their ex didnt want them back but because of their panicky words and actions. Does she genuinely miss me & or is this just the usual "how're you doing?" That said, I think that it is wise to not jump to any conclusions. However, the primary reason the no contact rule works is that youre not supposed to respond to your ex. . Then drop her a text to say hi or whats up. If your relationship was healthy and blossomed from an existing friendship, staying in contact can still prove tricky, as you may have already created space in your brain for this person romantically. Sorry, people who call abuse on everything, not every unpleasant situation is emotional abuse. After two weeks and because I regretted my decision to dump him, yes I did return. What ever you do. We weren't in a relationship but we were seeing eachother. He had done nothing to fix the problems, just moped about not having me in his life. Please read what does this mean? I would suggest that you go back to the couples therapy and listen to what he has to say, but if you choose to do that it does not mean that you are agreeing to get back together but it could be a way to help you walk away from the relationship feeling that you have not been left with issues form it. My ex asked me not to contact 2023 ASK THE LOVE DOCTOR [YANGKI AKITENG]. Break off the lunch immediately. Please help me. Anyway, a week prior to him breaking up with me I noticed him becoming distant and aloof, so I got a feeling something was up. Question: could someone please analyze this conversation. Thank you. But this is not about abuse. about an hour ago i got: Hi *my name*. should i try to get her back or what,coz i fells the pain coming back now,im in big **** now,i almost forgot her and im getting deppresed again.what she thinks? Does the no-contact rule apply if we were together for 5 years? Anything new going on? And being sure that you leave him on read at times, and ending your conversation at its peak. Next thing you know, youre having an organic conversation about something hes passionate about. loland then I got in touch. We have had daily contact mostly from him but he has gone back to this girl and its like nothing happened between us. 2) If on the other hand, you want to get back together again, you need to be willing to lose your current girlfriend. We were together for about 1.5 yrs. The first step to reclaiming your power over how other peoples actions affect you. I had moved on and was with my most recent ex. However, its the exact opposite after your no contact rule ends. Reply 2. "Does he miss me during no contact?"Your ex will miss you if he perceives you as different, glowed up, and indifferent to his absence. Listen the first time she cheated on you was probably hard but it gets easier especially if she knows you want hershes fishing and your taking the bate..cool it for a while then tell her you have been away with a girl for the weekend that's why you were unavailablesee how she handles that or just blank her shes no good..just keeping you on a bit of string. Should I not have responded? Yep, me & my ex broke up this time last year! i know this is out of the blue, me messaging.Can I ask your advice on something. Unfortunately, I am not of much help with your NC question because I dont think anyone [mature person] wanting their ex back should be doing it in the first place. After years of trying to heal from what happened with us. Why? Went no contact 4 months ago after almost 11 years with my Narc. We broke up because he cant step up for me and fight for me because his father doesnt like me or at least thats how I feel. I answered short with no emotion. Kartoff Ive always been the same weight since I met him and Ive never worn makeup. Now what? 3. Hi, It's important to communicate that you've understood and accepted what lead to the breakup and that you've been able to analyze the issues and begin to make improvements. Can it really take 2 to 3 months, for someone to realise they miss you? ATM in my life, yeah I'm still crazily in love with my ex, but I've realised that following your mind rather than your heart is a clever option at this time. No, nothing to do with my own experiences, it is what I've noticed when reading other peoples threads.
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